Of course, the qualification for fire safety enforcement, fire investigation, fire fighting, rescue, hazmat operations seems like a whole lot of things to be gained within a short 6 months, not to mention physical fitness etc etc..
I often need reminders to remember how blessed I am to be where I am, going where I am going, God had blessed me plentifully this past 6 months and I can't say that I am not enjoying the benefits. However, it is sad to say that these had come at a cost, in terms of my relationship with God.
I have been granted wisdom in many ways, in this case, the observation of how similar human relationships are similar to that of our relationship with God. Perhaps, rather, the way relate to one another is modeled after our communion with God. Experiences forgotten, memories fade, this is the prime reason I suppose, as to why relationships fail. People forget things that matter, or worse, people get used to the things that matters so much so that they don't feel important anymore. Daily disciplines forgone, replaced by an easily distracted mind; pursuit for spirituality replaced with cheap thrills from tv, movie, games etc. I used to think that falling to these depths of spiritual deprivation were beyond me. So happens that this mind of mine is more depraved that I previously thought.
I prayerfully hope that I'll get past this season of mental/spiritual torment alive and walking closely with God again.
Showing posts with label Thinking. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Thinking. Show all posts
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Elihu
We trails in our lives come in various forms, worst are the type that you are at a loss of what is the right reaction for the situation.
Parents form a special psychological concept about their kids. Having seen them as a infant, kid, go through the adolescent rebellious age, the common symptom of "always a child in their eyes" forms. As such, they often have an "override" button that they will use whenever they have strong disagreement with the kids, assuming that the kids are ignorant and therefore making inferior decisions or opinions or whatever.
Now complicate the matter with them being out of context with most of the things that they are talking about "e.g. 40 points is some kind of mediocre grade, SMU is a dodgy school, S'porean system is too closed and involved too much mugging". The amount of truth in their "wisdom" I honestly cannot quantify, but having a strong prejudice that refutes all other stances as excuses always seems to point to an ignorant speaker. Further complicate the matter with Christian/non-christian difference, I am honestly confused, whether I am supposed to be "honouring my parents" & their opinions, or am I supposed to be Elihu.
This anger at people's ignorance is slowly building, as much as I have tried to suppress it. Whether this is a righteous anger, or that of a childish fit, I am at a loss.
Parents form a special psychological concept about their kids. Having seen them as a infant, kid, go through the adolescent rebellious age, the common symptom of "always a child in their eyes" forms. As such, they often have an "override" button that they will use whenever they have strong disagreement with the kids, assuming that the kids are ignorant and therefore making inferior decisions or opinions or whatever.
Now complicate the matter with them being out of context with most of the things that they are talking about "e.g. 40 points is some kind of mediocre grade, SMU is a dodgy school, S'porean system is too closed and involved too much mugging". The amount of truth in their "wisdom" I honestly cannot quantify, but having a strong prejudice that refutes all other stances as excuses always seems to point to an ignorant speaker. Further complicate the matter with Christian/non-christian difference, I am honestly confused, whether I am supposed to be "honouring my parents" & their opinions, or am I supposed to be Elihu.
This anger at people's ignorance is slowly building, as much as I have tried to suppress it. Whether this is a righteous anger, or that of a childish fit, I am at a loss.
Monday, January 25, 2010
Lessons & Teachings
It is disturbing how the exact same message can be shared by two persons and have totally opposite repercussions. Delivery matters.
Thing started with me hanging out with a friend for a movie (avatar.. Nice efx, cheesy nonetheless) and a crash over her place for dinner as her parents needed some help to clear bugs of their com. The chit-chat very quickly developed into a discussion of prospects and I have offered my standard service, analyzing the situation and just sort of come up with the best options. Of course there's some massive change to her application after that, and apparently it turned out to be something similar to what her mum had been nagging her into taking for ages. This made me aware of how much influence can a person exert alone through personality.
Of course I regretted almost immediately, but not soon enough, about all those thinking and risk-analyzed "gambling" with course applications. I obviously forgotten about the best council, obviously forgot about praying with her too, christian or not. That encounter also reminded me of how much pressure that the A level ladies are under, especially without the distraction of NS and a fast approaching application deadline, but that's just another thought for another day.
Sunday's lesson was ill prepared as compared to Saturday's sharing and Yongzhi thankfully pointed out the quirks of each of us when we are teaching. He helped to identify my salesman like speech patterns with a definitive tone at the end of my sentences. Makes me sound confident to peers and arrogant to adults (maybe peers too heh) and almost teacher like to kids, with too much authority that is carried in it. Works for some kids and totally fails for others, triggering that automatic rebellious mechanism in them. Time to rethink my approach for lessons.
The final case study will be myself. Having prepared so much for the sharing, I am almost at a state of which I can say that my mind is sort of almost attuned to Paul Washer's thinking. Yet, interestingly, after digging up more of his sermons, I find myself accepting teachings that used to bounce off right by me. Obviously it is not influence of the personality alone, if at all, it is more of a mixture of spiritual maturation (though of course I still have a long way to go), the totally fresh perspective he puts those verses in and most importantly, the renewed passion to truly live out my purpose. Yet, it makes me wonder, and all the more wary of his teachings, about exactly how much influence does personalities have on my thinking. In school, would I have listened to teachers on my respect list more than those on my blacklist? Thus and more importantly, have I downplayed any truths that ought to be explored further? Same applies for pastors, adults, mentors,etc etc.
In this age and time, perhaps it is not the age and time as this can possibly be an ageless problem, many things are distracting us from the truth/message/content. Ironically, our reliance on any delivery medium (person, tools, etc) that facilitate such transfers often hinder us from truths that comes in a different form.
Then again, if you put God into the equation, all of these doesn't matter anymore heh.
Thing started with me hanging out with a friend for a movie (avatar.. Nice efx, cheesy nonetheless) and a crash over her place for dinner as her parents needed some help to clear bugs of their com. The chit-chat very quickly developed into a discussion of prospects and I have offered my standard service, analyzing the situation and just sort of come up with the best options. Of course there's some massive change to her application after that, and apparently it turned out to be something similar to what her mum had been nagging her into taking for ages. This made me aware of how much influence can a person exert alone through personality.
Of course I regretted almost immediately, but not soon enough, about all those thinking and risk-analyzed "gambling" with course applications. I obviously forgotten about the best council, obviously forgot about praying with her too, christian or not. That encounter also reminded me of how much pressure that the A level ladies are under, especially without the distraction of NS and a fast approaching application deadline, but that's just another thought for another day.
Sunday's lesson was ill prepared as compared to Saturday's sharing and Yongzhi thankfully pointed out the quirks of each of us when we are teaching. He helped to identify my salesman like speech patterns with a definitive tone at the end of my sentences. Makes me sound confident to peers and arrogant to adults (maybe peers too heh) and almost teacher like to kids, with too much authority that is carried in it. Works for some kids and totally fails for others, triggering that automatic rebellious mechanism in them. Time to rethink my approach for lessons.
The final case study will be myself. Having prepared so much for the sharing, I am almost at a state of which I can say that my mind is sort of almost attuned to Paul Washer's thinking. Yet, interestingly, after digging up more of his sermons, I find myself accepting teachings that used to bounce off right by me. Obviously it is not influence of the personality alone, if at all, it is more of a mixture of spiritual maturation (though of course I still have a long way to go), the totally fresh perspective he puts those verses in and most importantly, the renewed passion to truly live out my purpose. Yet, it makes me wonder, and all the more wary of his teachings, about exactly how much influence does personalities have on my thinking. In school, would I have listened to teachers on my respect list more than those on my blacklist? Thus and more importantly, have I downplayed any truths that ought to be explored further? Same applies for pastors, adults, mentors,etc etc.
In this age and time, perhaps it is not the age and time as this can possibly be an ageless problem, many things are distracting us from the truth/message/content. Ironically, our reliance on any delivery medium (person, tools, etc) that facilitate such transfers often hinder us from truths that comes in a different form.
Then again, if you put God into the equation, all of these doesn't matter anymore heh.
Saturday, January 23, 2010
Prospecting
Wise words from wise men... Tried my best to recover whatever I have forgotten about Liang Wei's lesson and of course some extra guidance from the "tuition teacher" never hurts.
5 Base lines to work with for life:
1.God desires intimacy with us
Self explanatory and yet so easy to forget when we're dealing with someone so big.
2.God loves you enough
To bless you with the opportunity to serve him when he does not need to
3.FAITH BEFORE OBEDIENCE!
'nuff said
4.You don't need to know everything!!
'nuff said x2
5.GOD WILL PROVIDE
'nuff said x3
"'nuff said"s aside, I promised myself a proper reflection upon this wise words and here it is. The lesson is interestingly one of those that "disturbs the comforted" and "comforts the disturbed", though no where as harsh as Paul Washer's message, I was reminded how each and every piece of the wisdom shared that day had been granted to me earlier during my service in FireAC, with the exception of the first, which is the greatest revelation for me that day.
In light of the big choices that I will need to make, it is a good time to remember these base lines when making the decisions. They help to limit choices but it is the options that is left after filtering with the Word that becomes hard to choose.
Another Wise man told me to consider these when making the big decisions:
firstly, what your gifts are
secondly, what resources god has given you
thirdly, what mission has he granted to you
fourthly, if you are certain about the faith and endurance he will grant you to live that life
More filtering, and yet it is always questions like "what mission has he granted to you" that is hard to answer. Gift of discernment of spirits is rare in this age of blindness.
All the more things to pray about I guess
5 Base lines to work with for life:
1.God desires intimacy with us
Self explanatory and yet so easy to forget when we're dealing with someone so big.
2.God loves you enough
To bless you with the opportunity to serve him when he does not need to
3.FAITH BEFORE OBEDIENCE!
'nuff said
4.You don't need to know everything!!
'nuff said x2
5.GOD WILL PROVIDE
'nuff said x3
"'nuff said"s aside, I promised myself a proper reflection upon this wise words and here it is. The lesson is interestingly one of those that "disturbs the comforted" and "comforts the disturbed", though no where as harsh as Paul Washer's message, I was reminded how each and every piece of the wisdom shared that day had been granted to me earlier during my service in FireAC, with the exception of the first, which is the greatest revelation for me that day.
In light of the big choices that I will need to make, it is a good time to remember these base lines when making the decisions. They help to limit choices but it is the options that is left after filtering with the Word that becomes hard to choose.
Another Wise man told me to consider these when making the big decisions:
firstly, what your gifts are
secondly, what resources god has given you
thirdly, what mission has he granted to you
fourthly, if you are certain about the faith and endurance he will grant you to live that life
More filtering, and yet it is always questions like "what mission has he granted to you" that is hard to answer. Gift of discernment of spirits is rare in this age of blindness.
All the more things to pray about I guess
Friday, January 22, 2010
Pursuit of Happiness
This is a very common phrase that is used as the founding principles of some of the greatest nations in the world. Sounds perfectly logical from the communal point of view, providing a driving force to help propel the society forward do to this motivation to pursue happiness.
Yet, this article is not some random article to prepare my SATs essay paper, nor is this some feeble attempt at improving my written English. I found myself disturbed by this innocently perfect sounding phrase. The SOP (standard operating procedure) of "defining your terms" is obviously irrelevant with google turning out results of "define happy" as "joy" and "define joy" as "state of happiness". I am assuming for the most of us that we understand the concept of happiness.
"So what is so wrong with pursuing happiness? Is it not normal to want to be happy?" My issue here is not with the concept of happiness, but with the concept of the pursuit. Simple, it is like labeling "the best is yet to be" on to your own personal satisfaction, there is and will be no end to this wild goose chase. For there are no limits or rather quantifiable means to measure happiness and being emotional and thus irrational-at-some-point creatures, we humans just do not know when to stop especially when it is impossible to put up a sign that says "this is it" or "this is happiness" in this pursuit.
"So what do we do? Just be happy with our own miserable/mediocre life? That is easy for you to say when you have everything, from the great education that you had been through to being able to afford a collage education. It is easy for you to say when your life is filled up with the glamor that the "American Dream" (or the localized and outdated 5Cs) is within your reach and you are having difficulty choosing which of these red-carpeted paths you will walk down."
(from the atheists... Perhaps?) "Or perhaps you are going to tell me to be satisfied that an unidentifiable God died an non-verifiable death (though many, including me, argue otherwise) for me so I should just be happy because I am part of this great plan that I will never be able to understand. Yeah, sounds really convincing right there."
Sarcasm and cynicism aside (writing an article like this is an obvious magnet for those), all I am putting forth on the table is a mindset change. Where the pursuit of happiness is unnecessary when all that is needed to attain happiness is the right frame of mind. Over idealistically optimistic about the prowess of optimism this argument may sound, the subject of discussion here is still on the "pursuit of happiness". As such, pessimism is not only non-applicable, but also non-desirable. You can be happy or miserable by your own choice, there is no need to spend any effort in this wild goose "pursuit".
What about the motivation to progress then? I will simply propose, "To God be the Glory, The Best is Yet to Be"
Yet, this article is not some random article to prepare my SATs essay paper, nor is this some feeble attempt at improving my written English. I found myself disturbed by this innocently perfect sounding phrase. The SOP (standard operating procedure) of "defining your terms" is obviously irrelevant with google turning out results of "define happy" as "joy" and "define joy" as "state of happiness". I am assuming for the most of us that we understand the concept of happiness.
"So what is so wrong with pursuing happiness? Is it not normal to want to be happy?" My issue here is not with the concept of happiness, but with the concept of the pursuit. Simple, it is like labeling "the best is yet to be" on to your own personal satisfaction, there is and will be no end to this wild goose chase. For there are no limits or rather quantifiable means to measure happiness and being emotional and thus irrational-at-some-point creatures, we humans just do not know when to stop especially when it is impossible to put up a sign that says "this is it" or "this is happiness" in this pursuit.
"So what do we do? Just be happy with our own miserable/mediocre life? That is easy for you to say when you have everything, from the great education that you had been through to being able to afford a collage education. It is easy for you to say when your life is filled up with the glamor that the "American Dream" (or the localized and outdated 5Cs) is within your reach and you are having difficulty choosing which of these red-carpeted paths you will walk down."
(from the atheists... Perhaps?) "Or perhaps you are going to tell me to be satisfied that an unidentifiable God died an non-verifiable death (though many, including me, argue otherwise) for me so I should just be happy because I am part of this great plan that I will never be able to understand. Yeah, sounds really convincing right there."
Sarcasm and cynicism aside (writing an article like this is an obvious magnet for those), all I am putting forth on the table is a mindset change. Where the pursuit of happiness is unnecessary when all that is needed to attain happiness is the right frame of mind. Over idealistically optimistic about the prowess of optimism this argument may sound, the subject of discussion here is still on the "pursuit of happiness". As such, pessimism is not only non-applicable, but also non-desirable. You can be happy or miserable by your own choice, there is no need to spend any effort in this wild goose "pursuit".
What about the motivation to progress then? I will simply propose, "To God be the Glory, The Best is Yet to Be"
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